When you’re faced with an incredible loss in your life—especially from death or divorce—it’s easy to blame God. Because things don’t make sense, because the emptiness is so great, and because the pain is so real, you naturally want to lash out, and God can make for a convenient scapegoat.
Playing the blame game, especially with God, will do you little good when dealing with loss. In most cases, the question of “why” tragedy strikes will never be answered this side of eternity. That’s why the road to healing from the loss of a relationship begins by better understanding the type of loss you’re dealing with, and then making some practical choices to get you beyond the blame and back into the loving arms of your Heavenly Father.
While both are overwhelming, a loss from divorce is sometimes worse than a loss from death because death is final, sometimes anticipated, and in many cases normal. Divorce, on the other hand, is ongoing and anything but normal. After a marriage ends, you oftentimes have to face that person regularly, dealing with them regarding your children, possessions and finances. As a result, sadness, anger and frustration are much more difficult to put behind you. With death, the relationship here on earth ends, but with divorce, relationships carry on and can remain adversarial.
You can move forward!
Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, “Pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” Regardless of the type of loss you endure, four key steps in moving ahead are:
- Spend time with good friends who will tell you the truth. Don’t be with someone who is going to buy into your pity party; no matter how justified you may feel your party to be.
- Embrace routine. This is not the time to change everything: the way you look, the place you work, the city where you live. Some change may be positive, but limit it.
- Take care of yourself. Eat well, exercise, and sleep as normally as possible. By doing so, you’ll help both body and mind regenerate and heal.
- Draw yourself to a loving, stable church environment where you can find support.
Don’t blame God for your loss from death or divorce. Run to Him instead! Spend time reading His Word. Listen to Christian music and Biblical teaching programs. Nurture your relationship with God through daily prayer and determined worship.
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