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Relationships

Healthy boundaries

I grew up a good Dutch Reformed girl in the lovely town of Pella, Iowa, where people are expected to be well-put-together, responsible, hardworking, God-fearing and independent.  I never got in trouble.  People liked me (at the least most seemed to like me).  And I genuinely loved God and desired to follow His commands.  So,…

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You can’t make me angry

You can’t make me angry. I have an anger problem. However, I made a decision some years ago and it’s been life-changing for me. Here’s a conclusion I reached. Try as you might, you can’t make me angry. For me, that decision has made me a better, kinder, more-relaxed person. It took me a while to get there, and I’m still…

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The relationship reset

Sometimes the emotional, frustrating, grief-laced and often crushing experiences that come with the ride of a difficult relationship cause us to want to get off the roller coaster and walk away. We don’t want to deal with the pain and process of working it out. Sometimes the anger we feel has us acting out in ways that make it hard…

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The relationship reset

Sometimes the emotional, frustrating, grief-laced and often crushing experiences that come with the ride of a difficult relationship cause us to want to get off the roller coaster and walk away. We don’t want to deal with the pain and process of working it out. Sometimes the anger we feel has us acting out in ways that make it hard…

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I love my mom, but…

With Mother’s Day over, some adults may be dealing with fresh wounds associated with a poor relationship with their mother. Sure, she raised you well and she’s good at making cookies, but there can be some facets of a mother-child relationship that can really act like a stick in the mud in the effort toward the two parties…

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Iron sharpening iron

Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” I had my heart set on it.… It was a beautiful truck that had been magnificently restored, and I wanted it. Sure, it would cost money that I didn’t have, storage would be a problem (I was in college at the time), and it would be worthless in the winter. But,

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How to make a relationship better all by yourself

I’m happy to say that my daughter was recently married. As a mom, it was one of the best days of my life (another was the day we adopted her from Korea). I prayed that I would enjoy not only the actual wedding day, but also the weeks leading up to it. As a counselor, I’ve heard too many horror stories of family meltdowns…

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