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Relationships

Do you know how to ask for what you want or need?

In my last blog I talked about a woman who wanted to get her friend to stop commenting to her about her parenting style but she feared offending her friend and losing the friendship. Sometimes it can be tricky to express our feelings and needs wisely. One of most useful skills we can learn when we want to know how to express our feelings…

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Five things you can do to help someone that has been abused

This month is Domestic Violence Awareness month. Did you know that one in four women report some sort of abuse in her most intimate relationships? We’ve all been in situations where we have a gut feeling something isn’t quite right or someone has disclosed something to us and we’re not sure what to do. Sometimes we respond by…

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Hello, my name is Lauren and I’m a hugger

I’ll be the first to admit that I am a hugger!  To me, hugs make things a lot better!  They break down walls that we have put up and help us heal! One Scenario: You married?  I know you can relate… For instance, you might walk in the door after work and you already did 50 things wrong!  Sure you don’t know that…

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A time to say “No!”

Sarah came to counseling astonished that it has taken her fifty years to finally learn how to say “No.” “I’ve always put everyone else first,” she said. “Now I see that I’ve only enabled my husband’s selfishness to flourish.” One of my relatives recently shared a similar story. At 74 years old, she wired up her…

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The value of words, what to do with a million a year?

The choice of words make a huge difference. What we say to our kids, our spouse, our boss, our friends and standing in line, the words we use are so powerful. Sometimes we say words that shouldn’t be said. Sometimes we omit words that need to be said. In James 3, we find that words can change the course of life. no man can tame the tongue,…

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How to initiate a difficult conversation

John and Cindy frequently argued about how to handle their finances. John bought the latest electronic gadgets. Cindy clipped coupons and shopped second hand stores. As retirement loomed, Cindy’s anxiety about their financial future grew. Every time she tried to talk with John about saving more money however, he became defensive…

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Are you guilty of verbal assault?

“Reckless words pierce like a sword.” Proverbs 12:18  “With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor” Proverbs 11:9 “The tongue has the power of life and death. Proverbs 18:21 Growing up we all heard the nursery rhyme, “sticks and stones will break our bones but words will never hurt us.” It is a lie. The wounds…

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Encouraging words make a difference

Have you ever known someone who believed in you, someone who frequently spoke words of encouragement and praise? The kind of person who made you feel you could do it, whatever “it” was? That’s the kind of person God wants us to be. Paul gave a good guideline when he wrote that everything we say should build up the…

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Get rid of it

Like many of you, I’m simplifying my life. I’m getting rid of stuff I don’t need, don’t use, can’t take care of or don’t want. Recently I ran across an old letter I’d saved, written by my mother. Throughout my entire life, we had an emotionally destructive relationship. Even as an adult, as a Christian and as a professional…

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What if honor made a comeback?

The other day, I enjoyed an exhilarating bike ride on the trails near my home. Though I like to hunker down and ride fast, I have to be careful because I’m not the only one on the trails. On the straightaways it’s fun to hammer down and go as fast as I can, but whenever I come to a blind turn or come upon people, I slow way down and…

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