Marriage

Romance after kids?

One  question I often get asked is how can we as busy women find time for romance. Oy, I wish I had this one down. Sometimes life feels like that old country song: Hey Cinderella, how’s the slipper fitting now? We all want to believe that once we get married, the fairy tale will go on forever. But if we’re honest with ourselves, sometimes…

The gift of acceptance

Aimee and John were arguing even as they entered my counseling office. Aimee announced, “I just found out John’s been smoking again. I can’t believe it. What’s wrong with him?” It was John’s turn to blast Aimee. “She treats me like I’m 15 years old. I know smoking is not good for me. I don’t smoke in the house and I…

Outserving your spouse

We’ve all got chores around the house that we can’t stand to do: cleaning up after the pets, scrubbing the bathroom, or digging weeds out of the yard. A great way to serve others is to find out what THEIR pet peeve chore is, and do it for them. It could be your spouse or other family member, a neighbor, or even your pastor. It’s also…

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Alone in marriage

When you first said, “I do,” did you have any idea it would be like this? Are you currently carrying more than you bargained for? Everyone who marries will eventually encounter a season or two where the weight of the relationship ends up on their shoulders. Spouses get sick, distracted, selfish, or overworked; they pursue further…

Has your marriage made you more like Christ?

Bestselling author Gary Thomas poses a thought-provoking question in his book Sacred Marriage:… What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? Great question. And the thing is, holy people are – by far – the happiest people on the planet. Any painful process of refining can lead us to a place of

Keeping laughter in your marriage

There’s a study that says preschoolers laugh 300 times a day–while adults only laugh 17 times a day. What happened? When did we get so serious? Of course, life brings challenges, but do you ever take the time to just lighten up and have some fun? Adding some light-hearted moments into your marriage can make a big difference…

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Enjoying life with your spouse

I had a chance to speak with pastor Ted Cunningham, author of Great Parents, Lousy Lovers and Young and In Love: Challenging the Unnecessary Delay of Marriage. He talked about the importance of enjoying life with our spouse, and learning to love and laugh together in the midst of everyday stress. Key Scriptures: Ecclesiastes…

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Is there marriage after kids?

An op-ed piece in the New York Times entitled “Till Children Do Us Part,” seems to suggest that being a parent can be hazardous to marriage. “Over the past two decades many researchers have concluded that 3’s a crowd when it comes to marital satisfaction. More than 25 separate studies have established that marital quality…

Five signs your marriage may be destructive

Julie knew she was in a difficult marriage but she couldn’t quite put her finger on why.  Whenever she tried to assert herself, especially around money issues, it never went well. Sam earned the majority of the family income and insisted Julie keep a strict accounting of all her spending. Each week Sam collected her receipts and…

When disappointing becomes destructive

I always tell my coaching clients, no one gets all 52 cards in a deck. What I mean by that is there is no “perfect” man or spouse. You might marry a man that is naturally handy around the house and can fix anything that’s broken, but he won’t read a book or have a deep discussion with you. Other woman marry men who are capable of wonderfully…