Tired mom

By: John and Kendra Smiley

We have a question from a listener. “I am 5 months pregnant, work fulltime, and have a 3 year old son. When our son needs anything in the night my husband expects me to get up and take care of it.  I am tired! How can I get him to help?”

  • It’s time for an “adult conversation” between Mom and Dad.  They need to see if they can come up with a plan to share the nighttime responsibilities. This conversation needs to be unemotional & honest.
  • Another aspect of the “adult conversation” is that both parties need to listen. Maybe Mom is getting out of bed and going into the child’s room when Dad thinks it’s unnecessary.  We Moms tend to overreact.  Typically Dads don’t.  That is a real possibility.
  • There are guidelines if Dad agrees to help. If he agrees to begin helping at night, Mom must let him have the freedom to do it his way. Trusting him to adequately care for their child is an important component.  Mom, if you want to tell Dad how to do it “right,” bite your tongue.
  • The Take-Away? Parenting is a team sport whenever possible.  Mom and Dad both bring unique talents and perspectives into the family. The kids benefit from the input of both mom and dad, and the job of parenting becomes more joyful and less stressful when it is shared.

Photo: Flickr

One Response to "Tired mom"

  • Rachel says:

    First of all Congratulations! Our household is opposite from most, my husband is a stay at home dad and I work full time. When I was pregnant with my second we switched off nights. Every other night it was my responsibility to get up and put our, then 18 month old back to bed. So at least I was guaranteed a full nights sleep a couple nights a week. We actually carried this plan over to after the baby came as well. It worked out very well for us and lightened the load for me.

    I don’t think that the husbands always fully understand how hard sleep is to come by when you’re pregnant, even if you tell them you are having a hard time sleeping. Its not too much to ask for him to get up and help a couple nights a week.

    Hang in there sweetie.

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